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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

You have long been familiar, he says daily how much he loves and wants to be together. And you understand that he is the only thing desirable is the one with whom you are willing to "drink the sweet wine of life until the last drop". However, as soon as it comes to start a family, that is, to have a baby, he immediately begins to rebel and not go at all to any compromises. How can we explain this behavior? :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: What should I do if I want a baby,and my lover has not desire and he doesn't want to hear about it :( :( :( :(

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

It must be really difficult for you. The thing is you need to try and respect his feelings as well. i know it will be tough but the last thing you want is making him feel like he needs to have a baby right away and then for him to resent the baby for making him give up his career. You will get there in the end and he may come around to the idea sooner than you think xx
It must be really hard when your plans don't match up with your partner. I think you'll need to try and respect his feelings about it. You're both going to become parents after all and it's important that both of you are for it 100%. I can also kind of understand his point of view, He might want to feel more secure and stable before helping to bring a child into the world.

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

Most of the issues can be compromised, but sometimes one person's needs have to be sacrificed for the others. This cannot happen too often however or the particular individual will not be taking care of themselves. Some issues are too important for someone to neglect. They may want to put this aside for the sake of the beloved, but all too often resentment builds and a slow cancer develops in the relationship that eventually causes the relationship to dissolve. Having children is an extremely important issue and both people need to feel good and ready for the responsibility. This is important for both of you and for the well being of the children. Children will feel when a parent is ambivalent or does not want them. This might well be negotiated if each person's position is not held too strongly, but if it is strong this might prove to be a relationship breaker. Talk with your partner at length about this and have both of you think long and well about your positions before you make any decision.Good luck.

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Nicky
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
Want a baby,but...

That is such a complicated situation, dear! I am really sorry for you... :( :S I am sure that offends you very much that your beloved person does not want to have children with you...Frankly speaking, i could not be with a man who never wanted to have children. I think if it serious relationship, then it means that i near future when two people understand that they value their relations, they love each other, respect each other and support each other, then the conclusion will be understable - they will want to have kids, to grow them, to teach them, spend time together, show the world to their kids..It is normal for me and i think normal for most of people...so i do not understand why your boyfriend does not want children :unsure: :dry:

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

There are two possible variants for you in such case. Either to wait or to choose. You don't want to choose between your beloved and your future child. So I think that you should wait with parenting. Maybe your partner does not want children just because he is not ready yet. It does not depend on age , someone wants to have children in the age of 20 and somebody feels the desire to be a parent only in the age of 50/ Wait and maybe in a couple of years he will also want a child. Just wait and time will put everything on the right place.

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Steve
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

I suppose that it is a real pity, when people, who love each other do not have real plans for future. I think that you should have a serious conversation with your partner, explain him your hopes, needs and expectations. If this person loves you, he will do anything for your happiness. The reason for such behavior of your partner is that he is not mentally and emotionally prepared to become a father yet, probably he just needs time to realize that your family can consist not only of two people. You should respect the feelings of your partner and make everything possible for him to change his point of view.

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644

Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

It's hard to understand why your dear lover doesn't want to have kids. You should talk to him about it. He might have trouble in past. Maybe he hides some information from you. Each person wants to have a baby and to take it his love. Maybe not now but in the nearest future. Anyway you have to ask him about his fears.

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

You are really in difficult situation. But may be all not so bad. No one can explain his behavior exapt you, because you know this man very well.
But i can suppose some things. May be he is afraid of the charge about the child. Do you think about this? I think you should talk with him about this situation. Tell him about your fears and ofcourse tell him how you want this child.
If you can, you should go with him to the psychologist. Maybe really the reason is that he is afraid. And the spessialist will help you with it.
Do not worry so much. I believe that all will change. Good luck!

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Ben29
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
Want a baby,but...

First of all you should understand for yourself - you want a baby, because it's your own wish, or you just want to bring up this baby with your partner?! If it's your own wish, then you should leave your partner, and try to implement your desire into life. Good luck!

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593

Serq12
Last seen: 4 days 5 hours ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
Want a baby,but...

its difficult question. hmm, if you have a bad financial situation, then you can understand him, and if all the conditions for a child to have, you should think about its relation to you.. . if he still doesn't want to marry, it is just not worth it to continue to spend the best years of your life.. . man lives for himself and the family he apparently doesn't need. :ohmy: :ohmy:

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610

Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Want a baby,but...

It's not an easy question-none of the biggest for us are-but you have to decide it,the sooner the better.You can ask yourself-what you want from this life more?To have your partner near you until the end,or to have a baby?If baby is your preference,but you don't want to lose your partner either,start easily,gently talking about it with him,don't do it in a hard and strict way.Maybe,he just needs sometime to understand it for himself,to live with this thought.Try to live together first,then you'll see,what's best for both of you.Maybe,one day he'll talk about it himself,you never know. ;)

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