I also think that the lack of attention for children can be the first reason for disobedience. Children are very observant and, of course, notice that when they play quietly in his room, parents rarely join their game and switched to his work. But if you make a mess in the house, something somewhere to scatter, to draw on the wall or cabinet to turn out, the parents reaction will proceed immediately. Well, scolded, reprimanded, but pay attention to. If a child is chronically short attention, bad behavior becomes for him a way of life, because the only way he is able to attract parental attention. How to understand the cause of the child's disobedience is precisely the struggle for attention? Very simple. We need to follow his reaction to the actions of our children.
As the lack of attention, and parental overprotection can become a cause of child disobedience. Wanting to get out of excessive control and demonstrating their autonomy and independence, the child begins to act against parents. To understand the cause of disobedience is the struggle for self-assertion, again, you need to follow your emotions. If the answer to the child's behavior you are experiencing anger, then the child is protesting against your guardianship and power. To solve this problem, you need to analyze your behavior and attitude to the child and possibly give him more freedom and rights.
Sometimes the cause of child disobedience is the desire to avenge his parents for causing offense. Offend a child can be in many ways, consciously or unconsciously. If the family decided to insult or call the child severely or unfairly punish him, it is, of course, will cause him hurt. Divorce of parents a child could also be perceived as a grudge, because he loves his parentc, and he are forced to part with one of his favorite people. If the child's disobedience makes you hurt, so is the cause of his desire for revenge. To resolve this problem, you need to figure out what exactly the baby keeps you angry, and try to fix the situation.
When the child's self-esteem drops to a critical level, it begins to affect his bad behavior. A child who does not have faith in his own strength and success, considering himself bad and nowhere capable, starts to behave in accordance with this view. If he is bad, it means, and should act as the bad. Once it no matter what is not capable, then, and strive to anything not necessary, it still does not work. If the child's disobedience makes you a sense of hopelessness and despair, then, the reason it is in the child losing faith with their own success. Improve self-esteem of the child, you can adjust his behavior.
You know, I read that the children should be disobedient! Only these children live a full life. Just because they grow bright and creative individuals. Read the biographies of great men: none of them as a child was not a good boy. Charles Darwin, for example, which has been of interest only to fire, fussing with the dogs, catching rats, was predicted that he will be a disgrace to his family. Helmholtz did not manifest zeal for learning, teachers recognized him to be almost moronic. Newton had disgusting marks in physics and mathematics. Obedience is a rejection of the will, so the children have to be naughty
From time to time most children defy the wishes of their parents. This is a part of growing up and testing adult guidelines and expectations. It is one way for children to learn about and discover their own selves, express their individuality, and achieve a sense of autonomy. As they stretch their independent wings and engage in minor conflicts with their parents, they discover the boundaries of their parents' rules and of their own self-control.Sometimes, however, these conflicts are more than occasional disturbances and become a pattern for how parents and children interact. Disobedience can have a variety of causes. At times, it is due to unreasonable parental expectations. Or it might be related to the child's temperament, or to school problems, family stress, or conflicts between his parents.
Be sure to assemble the family council, when a child is missing at home, and calmly discuss the situation. Explain yourselves, each other, come to common view, the common requirements for child – remember that it is necessary for your baby, it's in his best interest. If the child disobeyed, the punishment for him should be natural. This is important to your baby, the understanding of naturalness and inevitability of punishment. Life itself shows examples of this. These rules should be flexible and there should be a limited amount.
I think that you need to pay more attention to your child. Set with the child some rules. He does not distract you when you cook or clean up, but he knows the time (it should be indicated in an accessible form for the baby when all your attention will be focused only on him and he will wait for this time. Sweet communion with his father when father just for him! and he will not yank and distract you every three to five minutes.
Well, maybe just at the beginning, when will get used to the new mode of communication. I think it should be very effective when the child is already in the age of reason.
You know parenting begins where born love of parents to children. It can not be reduced to a list of strict rules and prohibitions, often causing the child's stubbornness and disobedience. It is more so that parents learn all their lives, sometimes from their mistakes.
It is not enough to receive an appropriate education, even psychological or pedagogical, first of all you need to feel good about the child's soul, and to love him, regardless of his behavior. Our children are very sensitive creatures. And they may even feel our mood. Therefore, many tantrums may be the consequences of our mistakes.
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