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Peter
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Everyone knows

My friend is gay and he is very scared that somebody might know he is gay. His parents think that he has a girlfriend(because he told them so, he even asked his friend to pretend that she is his girlfriend).
Do you tell people the truth?Or you prefer to hide it?

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Billy-Bob
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
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As for me, I don't think it's something I should hide, because I am who I am and I really don't care what some one-track minds think about me, but at the same time I'm not telling it to everyone I meet. My family knows and my friends knows, If someone ask me I'll tell them then YES, I'm gay, If they be not satisfied with my answer - WHATEVER, it's their problem, I don't make them to talk to me or be friends with me. I think, that close people will take you as you are, and if somebody judge you, than you don't need such people in your life.

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478

John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
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i also can't pretend and say the truth all the time. remember that one can't hold everything in secret all the time. it is impossible. and one can't pretend the whole life. that's why it is easier to tell the truth.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
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I think that sexual preferences are a personal deal of each person and it is not necessary to tell about them to everyone. I don't see the point in screaming out loud "I am gay" on every corner. Who cares? It is only my life and I am the one who chooses how to live it. If other people don't like me being gay, it is their problem, not mine. I am who I am and I will always be this way. I am not hiding it, my dearest people know that I am gay, but I still think that this information is not tbe told in a wide circle of strangers who don't care about me and the way I am

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
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I agree that such kind of information is not for everyone, not for public. But I don't understand those people who try their best to pretend and to hide who they really are from their own parents. Connection between parents and children, love between them is so strong that our parents will always love us, whoever we are and whatever happens with us. Of course, not every parent can easily accept that fact that his child is gay. It may require some time. But it cannot be a reason for parents to stop loving their child, no way! They will accept him the way he is.

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719

LittleLion
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
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Coming out was a huge relief. The process was not easy. It was painful to me and those close to me and I struggled with guilt and surrounding recriminations. But the situation was evolving, and there was light at the end of the tunnel -- it only got better and better. Whereas sitting in the closet was interminable and all-consuming -- and it only got worse and worse.
So yes, coming out made me happier. It was freedom, the removal of a weight from my shoulders, a transition from despair into hope. I still had a lot of growing up to do after that! but it was a key first entry into the rest of my life.

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523

Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
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So, as I see, most of us agree with that point of view that the main problem of most gay people at the very beginning of their way is not to tell anybody else who you are, it is to confess yourself who you are and to accept this aspect of your personality. When you do it, it will not be difficult for you to tell about it to the rest of the world. I said in my previous post that not everybody deserves knowing it. But if you are asked directly whether you are gay, it will be always better to tell the tyruth and people will calm down. The louder the person screams "NO", the more chances there that it is "yes", but he prefers to hide it.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
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The vast majority of society does not accept gay people. That's the simple truth until such a time when people do not see the need to kill themselves because they are gay or people are more comfortable with the idea maybe politicians will come out.
However it might jeopardise their careers and their parties stand as well so I dint really think they would do that because they are far to selfish to.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
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Listen its easy to tell people ,my best friend told me first that he was gay and he said it like this "I need to tell u something important but first i need to know if u hate gays" i said no i don't hate them then he said "u are one of my closet friends so i know u can keep this secret.... I am homoxual." thats all it was and now we are still friends and i have kept his secret, What im trying to say is its easy to tell people but u should start with someone like our best friend first so that its easier to tell our parents when our ready and eventually you can tell anyone and nobody will judge you.Thats how i did it now me and him are both fine with admiting that where gay(not with each other hes a gay guy im a gay girl so never in a million years would i date him)

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Carl
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
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I think that this is better to say the truth. From about age 4 on, children lie for many of the same reasons adults do: to avoid punishment, to gain an advantage, to protect against an unwanted consequence, and even to boost self-esteem. Youngsters, like adults, sometimes lie to demonstrate power, to maintain privacy, or to protect a friend. When a child lies, she is essentially trying to change a situation, to reconstruct things the way she wants them to be. There is a developmental progression to lying. At the first level, the child wants to achieve some goal or reward by saying something that she knows or believes to be false. Her intention may be to affect the listener's behavior — to avoid punishment or receive a reward. I mean that lies start from the childhood.

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567

Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
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I work in a big office. Somebody knows, somebody doesn't. But as they say if there are more then 2 know, everybody know. Somebody ok with my orientation and their relation toward me is fine and they don't make accent about this. But of course there are people who change their relation when they know, somebody judge, somebody just ignore. My boss is from those who don't care about orientation, he evaluates my work but not my personal life.

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