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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

“There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.” ― C. JoyBell C. I love y family, but I have no possibility to be with them right now. Father told e to live the house when I was 17. Now I a 21 and I talk to y Mo rarely, and haven`t seen my Dad. What should I do? :huh: :unsure:

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

You know what you should do - you should talk to your dad. It is Christmas soon and it is the most important family day when we should gather around one big table and ask the dearest people to forgive us for everything we have done to them. And forgive them if they do something wrong to us. You are his son and he loves you anyway. But he is afraid to make a step to you, he thinks that you will not forgive him. I am not trying to convince you to go to the house you grew up in to talk with your father face to face. But call him and wish merry Christmas.

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Family

You are right, there are no broken families, a family is always a family. Your father will always be your father and you will always be his son. Whatever happens between two of you, there is a strong connection between you and nothing will ever be able to break it. The first thing you should do is forgive your father. Forgive for making you leave, forgive for not communicating with you ( actually, you are also to blame for not communicating with him(- forgive for everything he ever did or said to you. It may be not so easy, but being without a father is still harder.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

If your Dad is abusive or not there for you in the way you need him to be-it can be very painful but it is not your fault. If anyone else had been in your place, he would have behaved the same. His behaviour is not a reflection of who you are - it has nothing to do with you. Understanding this fact is very important!If your Dad is an unhappy or weak person that does not make you the "cause" of it. You did not drive him to this behavior. He has created his own life and his own relationships with people. He might have been happy at one time but he is not now. This fact you can not change for him, no matter how much you might want to.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

I think that family is the only thing the child can be proud of before starting reaching his own results and achieving own goals, so you have no chance t show that families are very hard to keep on going. I have to stay together even being not together anymore , but child should feel and see love and respect from both sides.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

From experience... I won't give details. I love my parents and it's taken us years to have a healthy relationship. Things between us are great now.
I recommend writing your Dad a nice short and sweet letter, telling him a little about you and your life and something interesting about you. Include a few photos one of you and of your interesting life. Then the cards are in his hand to do what he wants. He can write you back or call you etc..
Anyway, this really isn't about you anymore is it? It's really about establishing a healthy relationship between you and your parnts.. That's very important. You have to at least give it a try.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

I always wanted a happy family too, but that was not going to happen. Not until I started my own family with my wife, my daughter and hopefully even more children later on. Sometimes you just have to accept the reality of your life. I don't know if the same thing is true in your case, but I know that sometimes you just can't help people, no matter how much you love them. A lot of people are having problems with their families, but not many people show it. When you see others having good times with their families, it may just be for show...or it may be real. You never know. But you should not look at others that way. Don't be jealous if others have more than you, just look at what you have and if it isn't enough, then do something about it.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 8 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Family

Families have tendency to fall apart , because as majority of people explain it is the consequence of difference in characters, but i consider that people should stay together at least 5 years to know everything about each other and i would like to say that it is the most important in life, Then it is ok.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Family

Didn’t you try to come home and talk to him freely. Try to make him understand that he is not guilty (I think he is sure that he is guilty in the fact that you are gay) and that the fact that you are gay cannot be changed. Say him that you love him and would like to communicate again because he is your farther and you are his son.

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856

Nicky
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
Family

I also that you should talk to your dad! Of course it is not easy to make piece after some years of bad relations...I do have the same situation, and also my father does not understand my orientation, and we communicate very seldom. But i really hope that your father will understand you anyway and you will have better relations with him!

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596

Steve
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Family

You know, family is like music: some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song. It means that life is a set of complex things, there can be difficult misunderstandings in the families, but, all in all, our families consist of the people who are always in our hearts, we are bounded to them mentally and emotionally. I think that you should have a heart-to-heart talk with your father, probably he needed time for consideration and has already understood his mistake. I suppose that you should do a first step for conciliation, do not be afraid that you will be rejected and misunderstood again, it is life and it is always worth trying to change.

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644

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