I think that you have not come to the decision of having a child yet. You need some time to understand your inner feelings and decide whether you would like to be a parent or not. The point is that if you have some hesitations concerning this decision, do not hurry with that. Of course, some people are afraid of the fact that they will not be able to become good parents, to carry the responsibility for a child and to give them everything they want, but the crucial matter is their inner wish to become parents. I think that if your partner really loves you he will never let you go and will give you time for making such a serious decision in your life.
You should try to use the help of a psychologist for you. He will explain to you the cause of your fear, and you will cope with this. Very often to get rid of our fear, we need to understand the reason. And when we begin to understand the reason for our fear, it becomes slightly! And we understand that our fear - it is really stupid thing! So, I advise you to come to a psychologist and solve your problem. Because it's really serious. And if you do not solve this problem, you can lose your partner very soon! So you have to deal with this! I believe in you.
Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it's panicking and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It's just not possible. The fear will run away the more you chase it. Fears tend to be much worse than reality. Often, people who have been attacked can't help thinking they're going to be attacked again every time they walk down a dark alley. But the chance that an attack will happen again is actually very low. Similarly, people sometimes tell themselves they're a failure because they blush when they feel self-conscious.
Buddy, anybody could make this choice for you, because it's your life, and it's your choice, because you don't have to force yourself into something you don't like at all, even if you don't want to lose your beloved. If you hesitate about having a baby, then you don't want to do it.
I also have a fear, the fear of death( Fear of death. I forget about it sometimes; I might be at a party or having dinner with friends, and then it hits me all over again. I'm going to die! I don't know when, but I do know it will happen sometime. One day I won't be here, none of us will. I feel frightened, sad, and immediately stop enjoying myself - what's the point because I'll be dead one day anyway! It happens at night sometimes, too - I become acutely aware, not just a thought, but a strong feeling that one day I'll be gone...forever. I just want to forget about it like other people seem to do; after all, I'm young and, as far as I know, healthy...
I think that it is very interestingand useful and i also have something to say about this. I don’t think that there is a need to have some fears. Di you say your partner about this or he doesn’t care about what you think about this. If he cares and you agreed about everything I don’t see any reason to have some fears. You have good boyfriend who is willing to become father. He did everything to prepare for this serious step. I think it is great that you have serious partner with serious intentions that want to make your family full. To tell the truth I am not ready to become a parent now but I am sure that things would be different if I had a partner with serious intentions. So you are lucky. Hope that it will help.
We have an opposite situation in our family, when my partner has doubts and I really want to become a father. I understand you and I understand your partner. It is not an easy thing, but I also understand that these questions are serious and desire should be mutual, it is not right to make any pressure. Nothing except talks, discussing and being patient can help.
Thank you for understanding even being not on my place. I agree with you that pressure will not help, but my partner does not understand it. It scares me more
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