To be honest, I had a problem with that. My ex did not want to have a baby with me. He wanted to have the freedom and sex with anyone he wants! So, from time to time it can actually be difficult. But in any case, each of you must try. You should try to convince your partner that the child will improve your relationship! As I said in another topic, you can use the help of family psychologist for this. And then your partner should understand that there is nothing wrong! And your child will make your life much better in every way! ;)
What not to do is harass a man of infinite pressure, the scandals and reproaches. It is unlikely to change their opinion, and it is unlikely he will have a desire to have a child - more likely, it will be exactly the opposite. Do not put ultimatums – or a child, or divorce. Because you want a baby of this man? You need not to put pressure on the partner, and gently push him to the man concluded in favor of himself (!) wants the continuation of their kind. :huh: Should talk to your partner about his fears, his doubts. Why doesn't he want a child? And find counterarguments. Discuss with them and their problems – why you want a baby right now - the state of health, age, family circumstances... Respect your partner: give a talk to him and listen to you.
Well what a tough position you are in, but you can not hold it against him, you knew what you were getting when you married him. I do not say this to be cruel, but so that you do not blame him. You can't convince people to make such life altering decisions.It would be great if he were to say yes, but even if he does at this point I think down the road he will struggle & it will show in your marriage. My philosophy is one NO & 1 YES = a NO. When it comes to an innocent child both people must be on board.I think you need to decide what you want more at this point: a child or your husband.
thank you all for your answers and support. I really understood that it is better not to convince someone to do something.
For understanding and acceptance of this fact I needed some time but it was good time when I was able to think everything over and to make some conclusions. So, I want to say each of you: If you want to do something, do it and don't convince someone who doesn't want do it to do it with you because in such case you will fail.
If you and your partner consider yourselves a family, if he is a person you want to bring up your children with, then you should trust him totally and discuss with him your desire of becoming a parent openly right the way it is. If he is against it, listen to the arguments he brings. You probably have your own - it is difficult, but it makes you happy, it is a responsibility, but that fact that you are living together as a family already tells that you are very responsible people. It is harder for you than for a traditional couple to have a baby, but you are not worse.
well i didnt convince my partner, but he convinced me in it. i wasnt against the child but it thought that it was too early to have the child and i thought that i wasnt ready for the child. but when we started talking about it i realised that i am ready, yes i was afraid of it because it is very serious step and i didnt know what expect from it. but then i realized i wanted to have the child , it is really great and it is the best happiness in life. dont be afraid of it.
I completely agree with the fact that having a child should be a mutual desire for both people. But, unfortunately, there occur such situations when your partner may be not ready for becoming a parent. Have a conversation with him, ask him the reasons for his not willing of having children, if these are his fears because of responsibility, say that you are sure that he will become a good father. All in all, give him time for consideration, if you really love and respect him. Different people may understand that they want to have children even in 35, 40 and 45. Thst is why it is your partner, but not you who should convince himself to become a parent.
You know sometimes time would not help and you will just waste time, understanding that you are too different and your values and plans for the future are opposite too.
That is why I think it is always better to discuss such themes from the beginning and to understand in general your plans for the future. But if he just have some doubts, then you can talk to him, support him and you will solve this problem together.
You know unfortunately, there occur such situations when your partner may be not ready for becoming a parent. Have a conversation with him, ask him the reasons for his not willing of having children, if these are his fears because of responsibility, say that you are sure that he will become a good father. All in all, give him time for consideration, if you really love and respect him. Different people may understand that they want to have children even in 35, 40 and 45. Thst is why it is your partner, but not you who should convince himself to become a parent.
Of course, it should be mutual desire for doing it. Because if you do it with his reluctance to have a baby, there's a possibility that he won't love your child as you, or even he may leave you in some time after adoption. Don't convince him anyway. Some people don't born to be parents.
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