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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

If you don`t like st in your partner what would you do? Or may be you hane no complaints?I know early on in the relationship it may be easier to let him know in the moment because people understand that everyone is different and it will take time to learn each other’s bodies.So how will you tell about your dislikes?

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

Of course you should tell him so. There is a joke: "Each relationships come to that stage when one thinks that it is not necessary to create a positive image and it is time to behave as usually, and another one is shocked about when the one he loves became such a pig!" :cheer: And if you don't tell your partner that there is something you don't like in him, he will never stop behaving this way, because for him it is a norm. And he thinks that it is a norm for you too (because you just don't telll him that it is not. And he cannot read your thoughts to guess it)

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

So, the question whether to tell or not to tell has an exact answer - to tell. But from this question comes another one - how to tell? You love your partner and you love every little thing in him, even if it irritates you. You don't want to hurt or to upset him, you don't want him to leave you because of it. So, you need to tell him about it painless. The first rule is avoiding personal pronouns - no "you" when you criticize. You criticize actions, not person. Say in general. "I don't like when people..." instead of "I don't like when you..." and you will keep relationships
"

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

I will venture one other thing that works for me and my spouse....We agreed at the outset of polylife that OUR relationship is primary, the long-haul. Which is our marriage commitment. We stay together and, hopfully, can fit others into this long-term relationship for the pleasure of extended loveship and family. If someone must go, then the new addition must go. If my spouse is sabotaging the new relationship or she thinks that I am and an impasse is reached--then a judgment call must be made. Has the primary relationship died. If so bury it and build with the new one. If the spouse is a more wholesome match, then stick, unconditionally, to your original agreement with her/him. Loving, polyamorously, without guiding principles is like sailing your ship without a rudder. You windup wherever the wind pushes. In conclusion, emotional abuses are as demoralizing to a partner as physical beatings. Thus, polyamory would decrease the joy of loving if it produces a constant battlefield. Dissolutions of partnerships happen. Control the crash. Make a happier life with r'ship that's left!

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
If you don`t like st in your partner

I will tell him everything without using a pronoun "you" not to hurt him. You probably understand that saying "I don't like when you shout on me" is not the same as "I don't like when people shout", for example. So, it is necessary to hint on your partner's disadvantages gently if you want to keep relationships with this person. But there shouldn't be a question whether to tell or not to tell. Of course to tell, because if you don't tell your partner that you consider some his features are negative, he considers them as a norm and does not do anything to correct them.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

Communication is key on a relationship, especially if you want it to be long-term.
You really just have to know your partner and what offends them.
But definitely find some way to tell them what you want them to change without making them feel like they’re doing things completely wrong.
but whatever you do…think it carefully over first.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

Hmmm :dry: I hate it when my boyfriend is horny and I'm too sick or tired to help him out. I hate it when my boyfriend "does the dishes" and I end up having to rewash many of the things he "washed" because he'll miss huge spots of ickiness and suddenly my hand is greasy when I go to put the dishes away. I hate it when my boyfriend gets annoyed that I'm playing a video game when he spends way more time on video games than I do.I hate it when my boyfriend always wants to watch movies or TV instead of actually doing something.

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Steve
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
If you don`t like st in your partner

I think that it is worth of telling your partner about your dislikes. Of course, I agree with the fact that you should do it carefully, wothout any offences. Of course, we love people with their pluses and minuses, but, all in all, there may be habits or actions we consider to be not correct or suitable. In the past I had the same situation, my partner had the habit of laughing very loudly, if it was only at home it would be okay, but he even dared to do it in the crowded places. It made me furious, but I tried not to show it at first. Then I talked with him, I did it very carefully and in a calm manner. He understood me and got rid of that bad habit. Do not be afraid to talk, it will be a positive thing for each of you.

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644

Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
If you don`t like st in your partner

I am sure that you must tell all things which you dislike to your partner. It is very necessary, you know. I think he also wants you be honest with him. I think you should sit together and talk about your relationship. He must tell you all that he does not like in you and you must tell him all that you do not like in him. It is one right way to be happy in relationships. You will feel the releaf when tell him everything, i am sure about it. First of all do it for yourself. It is wrong to be with a guy and do not try to change something in him, if you do not like it. I wish you good luck.

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Ben29
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
If you don`t like st in your partner

As for me, if you don't like something in your partner, in his appearance, or in his behaviour, and attitude to something, at the beginning of your relationships with him, then you should leave him, because there may be much more complaints in the future, but there will be much more affection between you, so you will be harder to let him go.

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593

Serq12
Last seen: 1 day 6 hours ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
If you don`t like st in your partner

I know that there re no ideal persons in our life. Would like to see him more often because it's more on business trips than at home. But I knew with whom I have dealing. Knew he toured the world for work and spend a lot of time at home. So, ready to wait patiently. I believe that man in any case can not let you work. It is foolish to be jealous of his work and complain that he spends more time than at home.Actually to change people is a thankless task. In humans, once there is the spirit of contradiction and he will do contrary. It is better to love and accept as he is. I am myself far from perfect. But he accepted me with all flaws and love unconditionally. :ohmy: :ohmy:

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