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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
relations with partner

What if your partner loves you and you are so long-term together, but he likes to go to a bar with his friends, and have a fun time, and spend a lot of time (even till morning) on the dance-floor? of cource you can go with him, but you do not want to be there so long, and he wants and stay there to the whole night. what to do?

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Fabio
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 01:52
relations with partner

And what is a problem? My partner is not a slave, he does not belong to me and does not have to sit near me and get bored when I am tired. Of course, he can have fun without me, have some friends who I don't know. I have to respect his own space and his personality. Some things must be in common, but some must be different - tastes, interests. He is not my twin to be my copy, similar with me in everything. If he likes clubs and parties - okay, I have nothing against it. It would be enough for me just to know where he is and when he comes back

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669

John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
relations with partner

Really? I think that you have to talk to him. I am even bored a little bit from these talks about the relations when you do not want to share the expectations and the dreams, desires and tastes of the partner. I think that this is wrong and may be you do not love him at all. When you feel attraction to someone, you need to show it in everything - sex, bars, drinks, music..I mean everything. What if he will refuse to do the things that you like to do with him. I am not sure that you will like it a lot. So talk to him, and maybe you will find the solution.

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856

AdamL
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 14:14
relations with partner

Go somewhere with your friends too and have fun without him once just to look at his reaction on it. If he begins to scandal and to be jealous, then tell him that this exactly how you feel when he goes somewhere without you. But if his reaction on it will be normal then it means that he also has nothing to hide from you, he is just spending time with his friends. And if you feel bored without him, find some hobby or some interesting way to spend time, you should not depend on him totally. He will appreciate you much more if you respect his right for own space.

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897

Funnybunny
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 01:52
relations with partner

remember that your partner has right to do that. He is not prisoner and he has right to spend time as he loves and to do things that he also loves. To spend time together with his friends is not a crime at all. There is time when he spends it with you and the time that he wants to spend it with friends. He should communicate with someone else except you. And you should understand it right. He doesn’t avoid you or stopped loving you. No he just want to change the environment and people who are around him. Or does he do this every night? You didn’t mention.

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658

John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
relations with partner

I think that everything that is said in the previous comment is right. Don’t take everything so close to the heart. If you be together all the time then you will be bored soon and split up. Do you want this to happen? If no than don’t interfere with the wishes of your partner and everything will be alright!

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856

Moro
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 14:18
relations with partner

I also totally agree with everything that is said above and can add that I had similar situation in my relationships. My partner didn’t allow me anything. He wanted me to stop communication with certain my friends. With time the situation changed and he wished that I stop all the communication with all my friends. Then he wanted me to do the same with my relatives. Can you imagine? I should stop any communication and communicate only with him. I thought he was crazy and told him this. He offended and decided to break up with me. To tell the truth I agreed with pleasure because I couldn’t stand it anymore.

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898

John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
relations with partner

Oh…sorry to hear about your situation….to tell the truth it is awful and I wouldn’t wish the same for myself. I think your boyfriend lacked attention since childhood and when he found you he was afraid to lose you. That’s why he limited all the communication with other people.

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856

Romeo
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 01:52
relations with partner

Each person have right for having some own space but as for me your partner exaggerate a bit.
It is normal that he goes to the bars or clubs with his friends but it is not good that he can stay there till the morning without you. I know such kind of people...he really can just dance whole night in the club because he really likes it and it doesn't mean he is with someone else there. He is the one who loves freedom very much an din this case you have only 2 ways out, to be with him and to accept everything as it is or leave him.

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637

John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
relations with partner

I wouldn’t worry about it too much, I'm exactly the same. I need soo much space and people I've dated always complain about it. It doesn't mean your bf doesn't like you or whatever, simply that they need a lot of time to do their own thing and don’t like to feel restricted. I feel incredibly suffocated if I spent too much time with someone/they plan too much per week, I need to feel that my time is my own.
So if he's anything like me, which I suspect he is, pushing him to spend more time with you is likely to send him running the other way. Unfortunate if you are someone who likes to see your other half often but that’s the way it is.

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856

John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
relations with partner

I think your partner has right to have friends and to spend free time with them. He is not your property and that is why he can do what he wants. Of course he should spend time with you too but also have time for friends. If you are together too much you really get bored very soon.

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856

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