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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

When you sign the contract with surrogate mother you are not sure whether she will fulfill all points of the contract. How you can be sure that she will not smoke or drink during the program if you don’t live together? Can be some guarantees or you just should to believe in words which are written in the contract? How you can be sure that she will not sleep with some other man during pregnancy? as for me it is not good for the child and I don't want her to have sex with other man while she is carrying my child. What do you think?

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

Probably you can’t be sure in woman whom you see for the first time but together with it surrogate mothers are checked before taking part in such program. Doctors should confirm that woman is completely healthy, that she doesn’t smoke, I know that this point is important in all clinics, and they don’t take smokers in programs. I also can brush my teeth come to the clinic and say that I don’t smoke and I doubt that someone will take some analyses or something like that to check whether I tell the truth or not. In such situations the only way is just to believe.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

If she is a real woman, if she is a mother (woman can take part in the surrogacy program only when she has her own child already) and if she has strong maternity instinct doesn’t matter is it her child or not genetically related baby, it is baby, it is new life and it is stupid to hurt future girl or boy from the first days of life. I communicated a lot of other same sex couples which used surrogacy program and I didn’t meet the one who suffered from surrogate’s bad behavior. They understand that if they will break contract conditions they will not receive their financial compensation and it is a big stimulus to obey all conditions which were written in the contract.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

it is true that financial side here is rather important and only a few women decided to take part in surrogacy program just because they want to help someone, majority of surrogate mothers search for financial benefits and I think it is fair. It is work, not standard one but still they do it for couples who can’t have children and they should be awarded for that. it is bad that there are no guarantees which can assure us that everything will be ok. Child can born healthy but then with time some problems can appear because mother smoked for example during pregnancy.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

we can't be sure in everything in this situation...we can just rely on the clinic...it is their task to watch after the surrogate mother durring the pregnancy...
but i think they can't follow her day and night...we can just rely on the surrogate mother that she understands all the importance and will follow all the prescriptions and points to the contract.

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Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
Surrogate private life

I think that in good clinics specialists always control surrogate mother's life. Of course, they are not with her all the time and they cannot watch everything she does. But as far as I know, she has to go through regular medical examinations during the whole pregnancy, and it is not so hard to find out whether she smokes or drinks alcohol or does some other forbidden things. And if she does something like this, you have all rights to break a contract, because one of its sides (surrogate mother) does not follow the contract ' s conditions and she will be judged. If a clinic is good and has a good reputation, it won't risk it, it appreciates each client and doesn't want to lose clients. So they choose potential surrogate mothers who are worth trusting.

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Max
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 07/18/2016 - 14:10
Surrogate private life

Most women who are having a normal pregnancy may continue to have sex right up until their water breaks or they go into labor. You won't hurt the baby by making love. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus protect your baby, and the thick mucus plug that seals the cervix helps guard against infection. And while orgasm may cause mild uterine contractions (as can nipple stimulation and the prostaglandins in semen), they are generally temporary and harmless. There are some circumstances, though, in which you may need to modify your activity or abstain from sex altogether for part or all of your pregnancy. Your midwife or doctor should let you know whether you have – or develop – any complications that make sex a no-go. If you're uncertain, ask your practitioner. Do not be scared about sex while pregnancy.

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Steve
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
Surrogate private life

Sex is not forbidden during the pregnancy, of course, if there are no danger and warnings from the doctor concerning having sex.
Each person have right for personal life and again there are no point where it is written that surrogate mother should stop to live her own life while taking part in the problem.
Personally for me it is not a problem at all. She has her life and after the program she will continue it and we should not interfere her life with questions with whom she sleeps etc.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

I think that it is awful always think and worry about this.it is true that financial side here is rather important and only a few women decided to take part in surrogacy program just because they want to help someone, majority of surrogate mothers search for financial benefits and I think it is fair. It is work, not standard one but still they do it for couples who can’t have children and they should be awarded for that. it is bad that there are no guarantees which can assure us that everything will be ok. Child can born healthy but then with time some problems can appear because mother smoked for example during pregnancy.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

This question is quite interesting for me. I may agree with you. I think you can't check how your surrogate mother exercises her duties under the contract. Maybe you should have known all information about her habits long before. Before signing the contract you have to talk to each candidate, to meet them in different places to analyse their behavior and than to decide whom to choose. I think few dates will show her advantages and disadvantages.

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John
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 09/02/2016 - 06:11
Surrogate private life

I think probably you can’t be sure in woman whom you see for the first time but together with it surrogate mothers are checked before taking part in such program.
Doctors should confirm that woman is completely healthy, that she doesn’t smoke, I know that this point is important in all clinics, and they don’t take smokers in programs.
I also can brush my teeth come to the clinic and say that I don’t smoke and I doubt that someone will take some analyses or something like that to check whether I tell the truth or not. In such situations the only way is just to believe.

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856

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