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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
two against each other

Youth is tough. Finding friends you can count on and be yourself with is even tougher. But it gets to be almost impossible when two people you really enjoy can't stand one another.Find out why they dislike one another. Let's say you have two friends, Armin and Sam. Ask Sam why he dislikes Armin. Maybe Sam doesn't really have a reason, but just feels vaguely uncomfortable or uneasy around Armin. Try to mediate a resolution. Generally, these arguments are over little things. When you "mediate" a situation, basically, you're acting as a referee, and trying to get the two of them together, bring the problem out into the open, and encourage them to work it out. Don't fuel the fire. When you're with one, don't talk about the other person. If it's brought up, change the subject.Remain neutral. Don't take sides unless one is clearly wrong. If this is just a personality clash, you can't make it better by taking sides.

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
two against each other

Rather comic situation. I think that the solution may be only if you stop listening them when they talk with you about each other. Say that it is not interesting for you to talk about it because it is not your business (and it is really not your business, whatever relationships you have or used to have with each of these guys before, the relationships between them are relationships only between two of them and there cannot be the third side). And of course, don't retell these gossips from one to another, because the relationships between them and between each of them and you will be spoiled completely

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Richard
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
two against each other

And one more important thing - when two people who had relationships and broke up talk about each other, never believe them whatever they say. Not because they are all liars. Just because each of them considers himself an injured party and blames the other one in everything. But these words cannot be objeaktive, because when relationships end, it is the fault of both. But nobody will ever say "We broke up because I........" Each person will say "We broke up because he..." and then a long list of ex partner's disadvantages. So don't believe

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
two against each other

I don't think that these two guys are your friends, unfortunately. They consider you a shoulder to cry on. And not even a shoulder, just "free ears" to hear their complains one on another. So you either tell them to shut up when they start it again or finish the relationships with them. If you are really friends, then you should find something else to discuss except the previous private life. If no, then I repeat once again, think whether you need such "friends" at all, if all they give you is negative energy received from previous relationships. I don't think you need it.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
two against each other

In reality, gossips are spread only by those people who seem not to have any personal life at all. So no wonder they exist in this situation. AS for me, it's really unfair and rude, because no matter how bad or disgusting a person seemes to be for you. you shouldn't be in the habit of resorting to gossips. Be wiser than other people, than this grey mess around you. I think there's really no point of telling them about what they say about each other, for it simply doesn't make sense in fact. People's lives are people's lives, not yours, so its much better to look after your own life rather than someone else's one.

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Carl
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
two against each other

I think that you should keep it in secret. Ask how long you must keep the secret. It might be easier to keep a secret if you know you only have to keep it for a certain length of time. If you are expected to keep the secret forever, that is good to know up front as well.Find out if you are allowed to tell anyone else. When you are told the secret, ask if it is okay to tell anyone else, like your sibling or a partner/spouse. top the person from telling you. If you know that you are really bad about keeping secrets, tell the person not to tell you the secret. This tips will help you to do that , because it is wrong to come out with not yours secrets.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
two against each other

Sadly, there isn’t a way to keep people from talking about you. Gossip is so prevalent that none of us are immune. However, if people know that you’re not afraid to confront the gossiper(s), you’re less likely to be a target.Good manners asks us to be a welcome mat not a doormat. It’s not rude to find out the source of the gossip and to confront him or her and the other people along the way that have spread the story. Is it more “in your face” than most polite people are use to being? Yes. (But, don’t worry, rudeness isn’t necessary. Just be quick, direct and firm.)

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Steve
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:00
two against each other

Oh, gossiping is horrible I suppose. I think that you should not tell these people what they talk about each other, because they are worth of each other. Such people do not respect anyone, even themselves. It sometimes happens that relationships are developing not in the way we imagine, we break up, of course, we may feel miserable and offended, nobody is ensured that it will happen again, but I suppose that it is the last thing in the world to gossip about the person you dated or fell in love with. If to be fair, something attracted you in that person. You know, a lot of problems will disappear in the world if we talk TO each other, instead of ABOUT each other.

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Peter's picture
Peter
Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
Joined: 07/08/2014 - 08:22
two against each other

You should remember that it is not worth to be connected with a situations when someone told the other one that he did something that the third person didn't like. Always it has bad consequences and as a rule people who took part in this story didn't talk with each other for years. especially if you all are connected somehow... if you want to save this relations just keep silent. The only thing you should take and remember from this lesson is that they are not the best friends and in it not a fact that they don't talk about you when gather together for a cup of coffee.

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Ben29
Last seen: Never ago
Joined: 10/17/2016 - 02:17
two against each other

If they tell you the same things about each other, from one side, they may be honest with you, because you are good friends, or simply they do so with every person just for test your friendship loyalty, and your ability to save secrets. You should decide for yourself, who of them is closer to you, and then make a choice.

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